Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Sounds of the season

Pa-pow!

I sit bolt upright in bed. Was that a gunshot? I jam my glasses onto my face and look at the clock: 2:45 AM. That means it's really 2:18. The police will want to know when I heard the shot. I wonder if I'll have to explain why the alarm clock is set 27 minutes ahead.

I don't remember getting out of bed, but now I'm in the front room, peeking through the slats of the window blind. Can't see a thing. As I'm deciding whether to call the police or not, I hear it again. Different this time:

Zzzzzt! Pa-pow!

Oh, for pity's sake. It's been the fourth of July barely two hours, and someone's already setting off firecrackers. He (I don't know why I'm so sure it's a "he") probably bought them from that huge tent in the Wal-mart parking lot tonight, stopped there after work. Then, since tomorrow's a holiday, he went out drinking with his buddies. Bars close around two, so he probably just got home. He's not sleepy yet. A little bit bored, in fact. And then he sees his fireworks....

Screeeeeeee! Pop.

I shuffle back to bed, climb in, put a pillow over my head. Now that I know what the noise is, I can probably sleep through it. Oddly comforting to know that one's neighbors are just idiots, as opposed to being violent criminals.

As I start to drift off to sleep, I decide I'm going to have to suspend my disbelief a little more when watching TV or a movie. I never believe it when I see a character go from being sound asleep to sitting straight up in bed. Apparently it does happen.

Bang!

Moron. I hope he gets rained on at every single football game he goes to this Fall.

6 comments:

G said...

Excuse me - I suppose you think you're going to get away with that 27 minutes ahead thing without further explanation?

Let me assure you otherwise...

--V said...

Um. I suppose it wouldn't be enough to say that the clock is set 27 minutes ahead because 17 isn't enough and 37 would be excessive.

No, I didn't think so.

I hit the snooze bar once or twice before I even consider getting up. That's why it's set ahead. I've picked a number of minutes that I can't just subtract at a glance, so that when I do finally check the time I have to concentrate to figure it out. It would be easier to just subtract 1/2 an hour and then add three minutes instead of trying to subtract 27, but by the time the logic of that floats to the surface I'm awake, so I might as well get up.

G said...

Right. I knew that. Just checking. Thank you.

Gina Marie said...

Moron. I hope he gets rained on at every single football game he goes to this Fall.

Isn't that funny how this would be the worst punishment for him... seriously...

G said...

Lovely - excellent new look. Self-portrait impressively authoritative, too.

--V said...

Thanks. I was getting sick of pink. I wasn't sure it took, though. Last night all it would show me was the old blog with the daffodil--even though the baby picture showed up everywhere else.