Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Sounds of the season

Pa-pow!

I sit bolt upright in bed. Was that a gunshot? I jam my glasses onto my face and look at the clock: 2:45 AM. That means it's really 2:18. The police will want to know when I heard the shot. I wonder if I'll have to explain why the alarm clock is set 27 minutes ahead.

I don't remember getting out of bed, but now I'm in the front room, peeking through the slats of the window blind. Can't see a thing. As I'm deciding whether to call the police or not, I hear it again. Different this time:

Zzzzzt! Pa-pow!

Oh, for pity's sake. It's been the fourth of July barely two hours, and someone's already setting off firecrackers. He (I don't know why I'm so sure it's a "he") probably bought them from that huge tent in the Wal-mart parking lot tonight, stopped there after work. Then, since tomorrow's a holiday, he went out drinking with his buddies. Bars close around two, so he probably just got home. He's not sleepy yet. A little bit bored, in fact. And then he sees his fireworks....

Screeeeeeee! Pop.

I shuffle back to bed, climb in, put a pillow over my head. Now that I know what the noise is, I can probably sleep through it. Oddly comforting to know that one's neighbors are just idiots, as opposed to being violent criminals.

As I start to drift off to sleep, I decide I'm going to have to suspend my disbelief a little more when watching TV or a movie. I never believe it when I see a character go from being sound asleep to sitting straight up in bed. Apparently it does happen.

Bang!

Moron. I hope he gets rained on at every single football game he goes to this Fall.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excuse me - I suppose you think you're going to get away with that 27 minutes ahead thing without further explanation?

Let me assure you otherwise...

--V said...

Um. I suppose it wouldn't be enough to say that the clock is set 27 minutes ahead because 17 isn't enough and 37 would be excessive.

No, I didn't think so.

I hit the snooze bar once or twice before I even consider getting up. That's why it's set ahead. I've picked a number of minutes that I can't just subtract at a glance, so that when I do finally check the time I have to concentrate to figure it out. It would be easier to just subtract 1/2 an hour and then add three minutes instead of trying to subtract 27, but by the time the logic of that floats to the surface I'm awake, so I might as well get up.

Anonymous said...

Right. I knew that. Just checking. Thank you.

Gina Thompson said...

Moron. I hope he gets rained on at every single football game he goes to this Fall.

Isn't that funny how this would be the worst punishment for him... seriously...

Anonymous said...

Lovely - excellent new look. Self-portrait impressively authoritative, too.

--V said...

Thanks. I was getting sick of pink. I wasn't sure it took, though. Last night all it would show me was the old blog with the daffodil--even though the baby picture showed up everywhere else.