Stray Bits

Hi there. Nothing's happened recently, so I thought instead I'd list some things I saw as I was wandering around downtown today.

• In a cooking/kitchen accessories store: a silver hip-flask fashioned to look like a cell phone. When I picked it up and laughed at it, the woman behind the counter said they'd had another flask that went on a key ring. So much for not drinking and driving. Also, a twisty teaspoon bent so that it will rest (and stay perfectly level) on the rim of the cup.
• In the wooded grassy area near the bus stop: a Scottie dog wearing some sort of plaid blanket/cape thing, chasing squirrels as far as his leash would let him. Reminded me of when my friends and I were kids and we'd play superheroes by tying towels or blankets around our necks and charging around the backyard.
• All over town: product placement. Apparently it's en vogue to put emblems or write a product line's name in large letters on women's slacks, at right about the rump area. Today a young lady passed me in sweatpants that had "Penn State" and paw prints on her behind. Another one later on was sporting the word "Juicy." Sigh. I feel old.
• On the bus: the fellow next to me smelled strongly of lemons, and had the volume on his iPod up so loud I could hear it over what was playing in my own headphones. He'll probably be deaf before he's thirty. The woman in front of me had tri-colored hair: fuchsia, indigo, and bright purple. The baby across the aisle from her was fascinated by it. His gaze didn't waver from the time she boarded the bus to the time his mother carried him off.
• "Creature of Habit" moment: the bus driver (who's been driving my route for years and years) almost stopped at the place I normally get off, even though no one pulled the wire to request it. He then checked in the rear view mirror to see if I meant to keep on going, or if I was distracted. That's happened, by the way. I recently got so lost in a book that I made an almost complete circle on the bus route before I remembered where I was and what I had been trying to do. Luckily I hadn't been expected anywhere, so it didn't inconvenience anyone but me.

That's about it. Though I've been thinking about the product placement thing some more and it reminded me of an old high school friend. She was rather well-endowed in the mammary department, and she saw a T-shirt in the mall she would have loved to wear, if her mother would have allowed it. In very tiny print right across the bust it read: "Everyone is watching you stare at my chest."